How To Date: The Christian Way.

Do you wish you could go back to a time when Christian dating was not an issue? All you had to do was agree to marry the person chosen by your family and all was well. Waiting on God's plan and timing is a difficult thing to do.

So as a Christian single, what are you supposed to do? Actively pursuing Christian dating relationships seems like you are trying to take over for God. On the other hand, if you never try to meet someone and avoid Christian dating relationships, you are left alone and lonely.

Actually the Bible says very little about the search for a spouse. In Biblical times, marriages were arranged by a couple's families. Often this was done shortly after the birth of a daughter. These unions were about protection of land or were made in an attempt to keep peace. There was no need for Christian dating because the decision was not in your hands.

What we do learn in the Bible is that God created Adam and then he created Eve. He presented Eve to Adam as a gift and married them. Neither Adam nor Eve had to search for the perfect partner. They did not have to search through endless Christian dating web sites to find each other. God brought them together because he knew what was best for each of them.

Since Adam and Eve did not choose to obey God and stay in His perfect plan, we are all separated from God. We do not have Him to choose our mate and hand them to us as a gift. That does not mean that God cannot have a say in who we marry. It just means that we must work harder to know what His will is. And unlike Adam and Eve, we just might have to search through a few Christian dating sites to meet someone.

Even in the New Testament we are not told how to search for the perfect spouse. We are given a set of guidelines to follow, but not a specific plan. What we do have is the model of a Jewish marriage. In a Jewish family, the parents make a contract for a wedding. All of the business details are arranged and a couple is engaged. Once the contract was made; there was no changing your mind and breaking up. To do so required a formal divorce.

On the contrary, today Christian singles seem to bounce from one Christian dating relationship to another without ever making a firm commitment. Many Christian singles choose to spend their younger years 'sowing their wild oats', instead of devoting themselves to growing spiritually. Without this maturity, they lack the ability to discern the voice of God leading them to an acceptable Christian dating partner and spouse.

In many churches the singles department has turned into a Christian dating club. The conversations center on who is dating who and which Christian dating relationships have ended. Instead of this worldly diversion, Christian singles should be focusing on reaching spiritual maturity and becoming someone that God could choose as a perfect mate.

If we pray daily and ask for God's leadership while searching for our Christian dating partner, He will give us the desire of our heart. There could be no greater gift.

So we are to both seek God's will and put feet to our prayers concerning our Christian dating relationships and marriages. Since He promises to guide our paths, all we have to do is grow closer to Him daily and follow the path he has laid down for us.

Realities Of Christian Life… When A Dating Relationship Ends.

It is difficult to deal with the emotions that follow the end of a Christian dating relationship. You feel rejected and disappointed that you have not found your perfect mate. Do not forget that your life God's. And the end of a relationship does not end His love for you.

Just because your Christian dating relationship has ended, it does not define you as unlovable. You are just not loved by one person. You cannot allow this to define who you are, how you feel, and what your life is worth. You need to put this one Christian dating relationship behind you and go forward with something that has far more lasting value.

As a Christian you can move forward with your relationship with Christ. When you put your trust in him you are welcomed into a global family of believers, a family with Christ as the head. Not being part of a Christian dating relationship anymore does not change your status is His family. Ephesians 1 tells us that we are blessed 'with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ.' It goes on to say that we were chosen 'before the foundation of the world.

Understand this and embrace it. You were chosen to be loved by God. No Christian dating relationship can compare to this. You do not have to earn this love. In fact, there is nothing you can do to earn this love. And this love is not the shallow emotion that existed in your Christian dating relationship. This love is the all encompassing, Agape love experienced only in a personal relationship with Christ Jesus.

And you don't have to hope that you are loved like you do in Christian dating relationships. You can know that you are loved because God's Word tells you so and you trust in this truth by faith. It is a daily reality in you life and in your heart.

You do not have to walk through life with your heart hanging out just waiting to be broken and discarded. If you do you wind up as a wounded soul because we live in an imperfect world. Instead, place your heart in the care of Christ and he will help you overcome every disappointment, even the end of your Christian dating relationship.

God's grace and mercy can help your broken heart heal when your Christian dating relationship ends and help you learn to love again if you accept His help. This is part of the blessings outlined in Ephesians. We can choose to accept His blessings or we can reject them and choose to wallow in our grief. This would be as impractical as owning a nice new warm coat and choosing to freeze to death because you will not wear it.

As a Christian you will still suffer disappointment at the end of a Christian dating relationship. Your faith is not a barrier against all of life's bumps and bruises. You should remember, however, that as a child of God, these bumps are temporary. You can either allow them to pull you into a pit of despair or you can lean on Him for a season and then let Him lead you to a new Christian dating relationship. It is His will that you not only have life, but 'have life more abundantly'.

As a Christian single, you do not have to crumble into a heap of rejection and despair when your Christian dating relationship ends. You can instead lean on God to support you in your time of grief and lead you to the person He has chosen for you.