Single And Christian… Are Finances Important When Looking For A Partner?

Name and social security number please? This is not a slick pick up line but it is being used more often today in the Christian dating scene. Many Christian singles are leery of being saddled with someone else's debt and choose to weed out the financially unstable from the beginning.

Since today's Christian singles have stayed single longer, many have fully established credit histories coming into a Christian dating relationship. Poor choices and circumstances can leave someone with a less that stellar credit report so you may feel justified in asking to see a credit report before investing your time in a Christian dating relationship.

While this may seem like a good idea, it is usually motivated by selfish and self serving. If you use it solely to weed out candidates for dating are you not turning what should be a pleasant time into a business like process? It should take time to get to know someone well enough for financial information to become important.

However, in our fast food world, we try to run everything, even our Christian dating relationships, at warp speed. The pressure to pair off and become part of a couple force you to quickly go through a dating checklist to see if a person is worth your time. Slow down and get to know someone before rushing headlong into lifetime planning. It is impossible after only a few emails or phone calls to know if your Christian dating relationship is real or is limited to a strictly emotional attachment.

Emotions are great but they are not what real Christian dating relationships should be built on. Real love takes time to develop and grow. During the time you invest to truly get to know someone, potential problems with character will show themselves in other ways.

Getting a credit report is not always a negative thing however. When a couple has taken the time to get to know each other in a Christian dating relationship and have decided to move forward and blend their lives, it can save many problems. Finances are something that a couple contemplating moving from a Christian dating relationship to marriage must work out, since money is often the cause of so many divorces.

But if your Christian dating relationship has moved to the point of serious talk of marriage, you should have a high level of honesty and openness. Any previous financial difficulties should be divulged openly to avoid the appearance of dishonesty. This will help a couple in working together to plan their future finances and see if they have any areas that need addressing before combining money. And if you truly respect and trust your Christian dating partner, can a piece of paper make that much difference?

In addition to slowing down before asking for a credit report, I would also not recommend giving someone a credit report if you have just met them. Whether you met them online or in person, you could be a mark for identity theft and scam. Because your credit report contains your social security number and other personal information you should protect it very carefully. Many con artists run scams out of dating sites, even Christian dating sites. To protect yourself, never give a stranger your social security number over the internet or otherwise.

It may seem like a smart idea to ask for a credit report before beginning a Christian dating relationship but before you do, think. Are you doing it just to protect yourself or to find the person that God has for you. And if asked, would you give out yours?

Christian Dating Sites: The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

While there are some legitimately wonderful Christian dating sites on the Internet, there are also some that serious Christians should avoid. Many use unethical advertising methods while others are just hiding behind the term Christian to run scams. To make a good choice, you need to know the difference.

When you run a search for Christian dating sites you will get hundreds of web sites to view. But how do you know that the site you are looking at is truly a Christian site? Just because a matchmaking website claims to be a Christian dating service, it does not mean that you can automatically trust them. If you are truly looking for another Christian to share your life with, choose your dating site carefully. Some sites claiming to be Christian dating sites are just plain anti-Christian in their business practices.

The major names are all good choices when you begin using a Christian dating service. The ones you know you can trust are eHarmony (eHarmony.com), Christian Singles Network (christiansinglesnetwork.com), Christian Cafe (christiancafe.com), and Christian Singles Connection (christiansinglesconnestion.com). These Christian dating sites are owned and operated by solid Christian people and adhere to strict Christian principles in advertising and business.

Some Christian dating sites to avoid because of their unethical advertising practices are: Christian Soulmates (christiansoulmates.com); SinglesOfFaith.com; Godly Companions (godlycompanions.com); and Christianrelation.com. Unethical advertising can involve anything from misleading to downright false claims to using competitors' keywords to steer their customers to the wrong site by mistake. And while these practices may not be illegal, they are not ethical and certainly not the Christian way to do business.

There are other reasons to avoid certain Christian dating sites. Some are claiming to be Christian sites, but are owned by decidedly non Christian companies. For example, Christian Matchmaker (christian.matchmaker.com) is owned and operated by a company called Date.com. This company runs a dating site aimed at gay people (gay.date.com). As a Christian, you may not want your money going to site that openly promotes the gay lifestyle.

Another site to avoid is BigChurch (bigchurch.com). The owner of this site also owns one of the largest pornographic sites on the web. They operate Adult Friendfinder. This site is dedicated to helping people locate partners for sexual encounters. As this is decidedly against God's laws and principles, we should not help them profit from simply sticking the word Christian on a site to try to rake in our money too.

While not all sites espouse morals that are against God's laws, some sites are just not really Christian sites but only hide behind that assumption. Adam & Eve Singles (adamandevesingles.com) are a non Christian or secular site that uses the Biblical reference to try to draw in Christian money. Another site, SeekingChristian.com is run out of Moscow. This site is really set up to help American men find Russian Brides. If you look at the pictures on the site, you can tell it is not really Christian.

Some sites advertise under the search for Christian dating or Christian singles but are not really Christian sites. Some examples are Match.com (match.com), and Yahoo Personals (personals.yahoo.com). There are many others and you have to be savvy enough to weed them out.

Finally, some of the Christian dating sites are really just sites that link you with other sites. They are not really Christian dating sites on their own. These sites include christiansingleconnections.com and christian-serveces-savvy.com.